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Under Pressure
A. C. Meyer


A romance that will make you laugh, cry, fall in love and believe that true love overcomes everything. Specially evil.

The passage from the girlhood to the adulthood is a milestone for every young person... and it wouldn't be different to Amanda Summers, a shy, inexperienced, full of fears and insecurities that came from the age itself, as well as from her past. Like most of the girls in this phase, her feelings are intense and her head is crowded of doubts, fears and dreams.



In Under Pressure, we will follow Mandy's growth journey: her entry into the adult life, the discovery of first the first love, the friendships and the transition from girl to woman.



It was supposed to be the most incredible moment of her life... She just couldn't imagine that it would be followed by the terror of the physical and psycological bullying.



From the ”After Dark” series and ”The girls” author, a romance that will make you laugh, cry, fall in love and believe that true love overcomes everything. Specially evil.







Under Pressure

A.C. Meyer


"Learn that even the good will learn from evil."

BrГЎulio Bessa


Under Pressure

Copyright В© 2020 by A. C. Meyer



No part of the book, without prior written permission from the author, may be reproduced or transmitted by whatever means are employed: electronic, mechanical, photographic, recording, or any other means, except for the use of brief citations in book reviews. Fonts used with permission from Microsoft.



This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters, and incidents are products of the author's imagination and fictitious. Any resemblance to real people, living or dead, events or adaptable is purely coincidental.



Translation: Fernanda Viana

Cover: Luizyana Poletto

Cover / core images: Depositphotos | @Anasteisha


List of Mandy Summers unattainable things

To be popular

To be part of a real ballet corps

To not be ashamed in front of strangers

To be braver

To watch a 4You2 band live show

To make a difference in someone's life

To have my father's love

Ryan McKenna




Author's Note


Dear reader,

The passage from the girlhood to the adulthood is a milestone for every young person... and it wouldn`t be different to Amanda Summers, a shy, inexperienced, full of fears and insecurities that came from the age itself, as well as from her past. Like most of the girls in this phase, her feelings are intense and her head is crowded of doubts, fears and dreams.

In Under Pressure, we will follow Mandy's growth journey: her entry into the adult life, the discovery of first the first love, the friendships and the transition from girl to woman.

But don’t be fooled. Behind the cute theme of the first love between the ballerina and the captain of the basketball team, there is a story that addresses very serious and important topics, such as bullying, harassment, anxiety and depression.

This story was was very difficult and special to tell. I hope it touches your heart, as it touched mine.

Oh! And remember: you are not alone. You are worthy. And "no" always mean "no"

Kisses and good reading,

A. C. Meyer




Chapter One


It was dark when Mandy woke up. Still asleep, she rubbed her hands against her eyes and watched the opened window in front of the bed. The voil curtaing fluttered with the morning breeze, allowing her to have a glimpse of the sky, which slowly changed its tone, becoming clear gradually. The orange and yellow rays mixed itselves with the midnight blue, making the clouds look like a big Renaissance painting. Bit by bit, nature made its magic, the daylight came up with a shining sun and made the girl`s heart to race.

Mandy had always been an introspective girl. She always thought a lot about everything, since each small decision she made, to her role in the world. That day, it was no different. Althought she had barely started her day, she thought about how relative was the concept of time, while she curled a lock of the dark brown hair on a finger.

With a soft smile on her lips, she remembered when she was a child and how much she kept her fingers crossed for the time to pass slowly, specially on vacation, when she enjoyed funny moments with her best girl friend, jumping in the river, playing ball games and climbing on trees, hoping for the Summer to last forever. Now that the childhood times were over, the expectation for the arrival of the future wrapped her, making her wish to enjoy everything life had to offer her.

Still smiling, she rolled over and looked away from her watch. It was still very early, but she could barely contain the excitement when thinking about the great adventure that awaited her today.

A big change would happen in her life.

In a few hours, she would take the first step into adulthood: follow May, her best friend, to university. It was the first time she was going to be on her own, living in a city other than Gloucester, a small town on the Northern coast of Boston, where she lived for a lifetime.

Mandy had finished high school at Gloucester High School in July and even before graduation, she got a scholarship, as she would be part of the institution's ballet corps. She had applied to several universities across the country, but when she received the admission and welcome letter from Brown, which was only about two hours away from her home, she knew she would have the opportunity to make two big dreams come true at the same time: to get out of Gloucester and join a real ballet corps. Not that she didn't like living there, quite the contrary, but she knew that she would hardly have the chance to become a professional ballerina, which was her big dream.

The mother was a great supporter. Having taken care of Mandy on her own since her father left the family to live with the secretary who was fifteen years younger and never came back, Mrs. Summers did everything possible for her daughter to achieve her dreams. After her husband left, she got her first job as a service assistant at an event company and was quickly promoted to event organizer due to her commitment to the job. Her mother never missed anything and Mandy knew that she would need to dedicate a lot to achieve her goals.

Although they love each other very much, Mandy and Mrs. Summers were very different from each other. Perhaps because of the job requirement and, in part, as compensation for her husband's departure, Mandy's mother became a woman obsessed with appearance. Their house was always shining, and so was she, who never went out in public with a hair out of place, the opposite of Mandy who was the typical teenager who loved wearing jeans and a T-shirt. The discussions about it were constant and, despite knowing that she would miss home a lot, the girl believed that a break would do both good. That way, she would have a chance to discover what she liked or disliked on her own and the mother - she hoped - would have the opportunity to have romantic relationships, something Mandy suspected she avoided because of her daughter.

With a sigh, the girl picked up the book on the nightstand and concentrated on the beautiful love story between a TV star and his manager. She loved to read novels about romance and always wondered if what she read in books would ever happen to her. I need to lose my shyness first, since I feel embarassed for everything, she thought to herself and laughed.

Turning the last page, the girl closed the book with a smile on her lips and turned on the bed, looking up at the clock. Finally! It was time, she thought and widened her smile.

Jumping out of bed, Mandy went straight to the shower, took a long bath and washed her long hair. She knew she should have done it the night before, as the strands took hours to dry and she would have to restrain her impatience to tie them when they were still wet, which would make her regret at the end of the day. After bathing, she returned to the room wrapped in a fluffy towel and put on the clothes she had left separate for the trip. The torn jeans at the knee and the worn T-shirt from Nirvana matched the blue Converse perfectly. After looking in the mirror, satisfied with her bare appearance, she picked up her backpack and ran down the stairs towards the kitchen.

She was opening the refrigerator when she was surprised by her mother's voice:

"Amanda, my daughter, where are you going with that awful outfit?" - Mrs. Summers asked, looking her up and down and Mandy had to control herself not to roll her eyes.

"To travel, mom. I thought it best to wear comfortable clothes." - Mandy's mother's annoyed expression turned to sadness, with the memory of her daughter's departure. - "What's it?"

"My little girl is growing up," the mother said, pulling the girl into her arms.

The two were embraced for a moment and, when they separated, prepared breakfast together. As she took the last bite of the toast, Mandy looked at the watch again, looking concerned.

"May must already be arriving to take the road to Providence."

Ms. Summers nodded and took the last sip of coffee. A few moments later, they heard the horn sound outside and got up to leave the house. While picking up the bags, the mother asked a series of questions, making sure that the daughter had not forgotten anything.

"Be sure to call me when they arrive."

"Okay, for sure," Mandy replied, opening the front door.

As they left the house together, mother and daughter looked at each other and, for the first time, Mandy saw her mother, who have always been a very strong woman despite everything that happened, looking fragile, with tears in her eyes.

"Ah, my daughter..." - she murmured, pulling the girl in a tight hug. - "Take care of yourself. And don't forget to always call home. I will deeply miss you."

"Me too, Mom." - The two hugged each other even tighter. Despite the differences, they loved each other very much and Mandy's departure would be difficult for both of them. When they left, they had tears in their eyes and the girl thought she would never imagine that her heart would feel so tight because she was leaving home.

Picking up their bags, the two went to May's car, which opened the trunk already full of luggage.

"Watch out on the road, girls" - mrs. Summers said when she saw the two getting in the car to leave. Leaning over the passenger side window, she pulled the two girls in for another hug.

"For sure," they replied in unison, making the older woman smile and rub her daughter's face.

Suddenly, her expression changed and she became very serious.

"Amanda, promise that if you have any problems over there, you will call me? No matter what, I want you to know that I will be here to support you."

"I promise, Mom," Mandy replied with a smile and the woman nodded.

With goodbye shrieks, May started the car and Mrs. Summers finally pulled away, allowing them to leave. Looking in the rearview mirror, Mandy saw her mother nod and responded, excitedly.

"What's up, friend? Ready for the adventure?" - May asked as she left the garage at Mandy's house, smiling broadly.

"For sure!"

"Oh, my friend, I'm so excited. I'm sure it will be an unforgettable phase of our lives" - May said and Mandy smiled, turning on the loud sound as her friend went down the way to get on the road.

"I have a feeling that this trip will completely change our lives" - Mandy said to May smiling and then they started singing, following the pop ballad of the Australian band 4you2, which sounded from the speakers.

Mandy was right. That trip would be truly unforgettable. She just didn't realize how true that would be.

For good and for bad.




Chapter Two


A few weeks later...



It was half past six in the morning when Mandy's watch woke up, warning her that her big day had finally arrived. She and May were sharing an apartment they were lucky enough to rent. The place had two bedrooms, living room and kitchen, in addition to the bathroom. Obviously, they would have a higher cost with rent, instead of staying in a student residence , but the two girls' parents chose to offer them a little more comfort, as they knew that sharing the space would not be easy. At first, they thought this was an exaggeration, after all they were friends for life, almost like sisters. But after a few days, Mandy had to give in: they were right. The girls were friends, but completely different people, with tastes and customs, in many circumstances, opposites. If she needed to be locked in a room and smell the incense sticks that May loved so much, Mandy would surely go crazy.

They took advantage of the period before classes started to adapt to the new reality. After all, they were girls from a small town and had never left Gloucester before, so dealing with the grandeur of the campus, all those people who came from the most diverse cities in the country, required an effort to adapt. May had an easier time. She was a friendly and outgoing girl, who made friends easily and talked to everyone. But Mandy, in addition to shyness, still had to overcome the overprotection with which she had been raised. Since the divorce, her life was quite controlled by her mother, who tried to make up for her father's departure at any cost. The girl was not used to going to parties, dating or having many friends. In addition, dance demanded that she lead a ruled life and all that university activity was a little too much for her.

Still sleepy, she got up slowly and headed for the bathroom. She took a hot shower and washed her hair, being careful not to delay, so that May also had a chance to get ready for her classes calmly. As she left the bathroom wrapped in a towel, the girl went into the bedroom, hearing the door slam behind her, followed by a grunt. Her friend hated to wake up early.

As she opened the bedroom closet and pulled on a dark jeans, she thought of the words she was sure her mother would say if she were there.

"Jeans on the first day of school, Amanda?"

Laughing, she shook her head, wondering how they could be so different from one another and looked for a T-shirt in the wardrobe. Ballet was the only thing in common with the mother. Like her, mrs. Summers was passionate about ballet, and enrolled her daughter in classical ballet classes as soon as the girl was five years old. Ever since she saw a ballerina make the first pliГ© when she was still very young, Mandy promised herself that she would give everything she could to be a real ballerina, even if she was not the complete stereotype of a professional ballerina. By normal standards, the girl was short for her recently turned 18 years old, but not for a ballerina, whose body needed to be much more tender than her curvaceous - albeit very thin. Furthermore, she lacked the classic beauty of most successful ballerinas. Even though her long dark brown hair with smooth, thick strands stood out in the classes she attended, alongside her colleagues who were blond like angels, she was considered more exotic than beautiful, with very dark green eyes, almost gray and her mouth - than in her opinion was too great for anyone to say she was beautiful.

And to complete the imperfect set, she was extremely slouchy and clumsy. It was beyond her comprehension to know how she managed to dance and do all those jumps and pirouettes, when she could barely take two steps without stumbling or knocking something on the floor. What made her really good at ballet was her impeccable technique, which overcame any other unfavorable characteristics she might have.

Mandy had already been too much embarrassed for being clumsy. At school, she had taken many memorable falls during the break. And that was why her favorite place at school had always been the library. Among the shelves full of books, the girl spent most of her free time lost in her imagination. The pages of the books were her favorite retreat, especially Jane Austen's period novels. Obviously, it would be no different - she already had even discovered where exactly her new literary refuge was located.

A knock sounded on the door. It could only be May to say she was ready.

"Come in," she shouted, as she pulled on the Pearl Jam's gray T-shirt. The piece was old, but it was her lucky shirt.

"Yikes! Are you going with that rag?" - May asked as she entered, making a face. She looked beautiful in a green dress and the auburn hair in a loose ponytail.

"It's not a rag! It's my Pearl Jam shirt!" - Mandy protested, but her friend stuck her nose in disgust.

"Which deserves to become a floor cloth. Seriously, Mandy, how are you going to get a boyfriend dressed as a nerd?" - She asked, but her friend laughed, ignoring her absurd argument and continued to put on her blue Converse.

"And who said I want to get a boyfriend, you crazy?" - She replied, but she couldn't get away in time for May to grab her shoulders and push her in the chair.

"You will go out in this strange outfit, but the hair and makeup are on me."

Knowing that there was no point in protesting, the girl allowed her friend to blow-dry her hair and do a light makeup. When finished, May turned her around to face the mirror with a satisfied smile and a winning expression. Looking at herself closely, Mandy couldn't help but agree that it looked much better. Her long hair was loose, like a chocolate-colored curtain falling down her back. The bangs, which gained volume with the aid of the dryer, came almost at the level of the eyebrows, making her look even younger. Mandy didn't know what kind of magic May had done, but her eyes were high, looking like two big marbles.

“Finally! You went from being a clumsy nerd to being a sexy geek!" - May said laughing, while Mandy looked again at her reflection in the mirror, obviously not believing that story that she was sexy, but having to agree that she was much better than before: her face didn't look so dull anymore and her hair was shiny. Her gaze drifted to the body and she noticed the t-shirt fitted to her breasts, making them stand out in a way she didn't used to do until last year.

To celebrate the start of classes, they decided to have breakfast on campus and headed out to the parking lot. The corridors of the student's residence were still empty, since they were leaving much earlier than normal school hours.

Entering May's old Subaru 2009, which had been purchased with the help of her parents and many hours of work as a babysitter to save money, Mandy turned on the stereo.

"What's up, friend? Are you ready? I'm so looking forward to meeting everyone again..."

Despite being away from home, several of their countrymen had also been admitted to Brown, among them, two of their best friends: Yoshi, a Japanese by birth, but who had lived in Gloucester since he was one year old and Sean, a very smart guy, but very quiet. The four were raised together, in the same neighborhood. Mandy couldn't remember a time when they weren't together. And at the university, it would be no different. The four applied for the same institutions, so they wouldn't have to split up. Brown ended up being the option of friends, since everyone had been admitted and was closer to home.

Yoshi and Sean arrived in Providence shortly after the girls and settled in a student's residence near their apartment. In the days leading up to the start of classes, Mandy and May took it upon themselves to take them to see the surroundings.

Ready for the first, the girls decided to go to the cafeteria that was next to the building where they would attend the day's classes. They waited in the small queue, and when their turn came, May ordered two macchiatos toffees, which were then delivered, and went to a table in the corner of the room. While listening to her friend talk about a colleague she didn't remember, but who had been admitted to Harvard, Mandy took out her bullet journal to check the schedule for the day. That hardcover notebook, with a ballerina illustration on tiptoe, followed her everywhere. There, she wrote down her appointments, made her schedules, ballet lesson plans and lists. Many lists.

After drinking coffee and chatting, May took out her cell phone to check her e-mails and Mandy got up to throw the disposable cups in the trash when a move caught her eye. She looked in the direction of the door and saw a group of girls entering the cafeteria, drawing not only her attention, but everyone's in the establishment. Eight very beautiful blondes, who wore a tight white jacket on the body, with a K and an embroidered triangle at the height of the chest, came in laughing and talking loudly. The girls stopped at a table next to the cafeteria counter, where three basketball players were. As Mandy returned to her seat, she heard voices and laughter from there.

As she sat down, she asked:

"May, do you know them?"

"They're the Kappa Delta," the friend replied, but she still didn't know who they were.

"What’s this? A group?" - She asked, frowning and May laughed, already used to her friend's detached way.

"They are part of a fellowship called Kappa Delta. Did you see the symbol embroidered on the jacket?" - He asked and Mandy nodded. - "The three who are almost jumping on the guy with the tattoo are also cheerleaders."

“Mm…”

Curious, Mandy looked away in the direction indicated by her friend and saw the strong boy, who was wearing the sleeveless shirt of the university basketball team uniform. His arms showed a series of tattoos, covering them completely and he was surrounded by the girls. Just by looking at them, even if from a distance, Mandy was sure that they would never be part of the same group of friends. Those girls were too exuberant to relate to an ordinary girl like her.

One of the things she was learning about life at the university - although they had barely made it there - was the importance that students gave to sports - especially basketball - and the sororities and fraternities scattered throughout Providence. From what she had read in the freshman welcome manual, which she had received as soon as they arrived, the basketball team was the pride of the academic sports community, having revealed much of the great highlights of professional teams in the USA.

"Mandy, shall we?" - May called her friend, taking her out of her thoughts. The girl looked at the hours that appeared on the cell phone display, nodded and stood up. They would still need to find a place to park the car closest to their respective classrooms. They then went around the campus, talking about class schedules, excited because they would take two subjects in the same class.

Finding a spot near the entrance, May carefully parked the car. Although old, her vehicle was very well maintained. Her friends, Yoshi and Sean, real nerds when it came to physics, chemistry and mechanics, spent two weeks of summer vacation hunched over the car, repairing what was defective, so she could travel safely.

Unfastening his seat belt, Mandy looked around and saw several young people greeting and talking right at the entrance. She managed to recognize a few people from her hometown who had graduated before them. Smiling, she let the feeling of familiarity invade her when she saw some familiar faces in the midst of so many new people, calming the sense of panic that sometimes threatened to envelop her, having to face so many new circumstances.

As they got out of the car, she felt the hot summer sun hit her face. She smiled and looked around, watching the movement of students entering and leaving the building, until the image that appeared in her field of vision stole her air: Cat-Ry, the most handsome, popular and desired guy in Gloucester, was leaning on the wall next to the building's entrance, talking to another young man who wore a sports jacket with the name of the university basketball team embroidered on the back.

Cat-Ry or Ryan McKenna, was a year older than the two girls. He was discovered by a scout when he was still in his second year of high school at Gloucester High School, which earned him a scholarship even though he still had a long time to finish high school. He arrived at Brown the previous year and assumed the position of point guard and captain of the basketball team. Ryan was a legend in his hometown and everyone said that, even a freshman, he became the main player on the university team. The boy even won a prize for best player in the university league, which was no surprise to any Gloucester resident, since he had been responsible for taking the high school team to the championship finals, when he was a senior.

In addition to being an excellent player, Ryan was handsome. The most handsome boy Mandy had ever seen. Since she and May took a three-day trip to New York during the ninth year and discovered that Cat-Ry was New York slang that meant the most perfect guy in the world, they have come to refer to him that way in their conversations.

The two were not the type of girls who used to polish apples for the athletes, but it was impossible not to recognize and admire - and even drool over a little - their beauty. With light brown hair tossed to the side and blue eyes that looked like two cut diamonds when he smiled, Ryan had a breathtaking appearance. He was tall, six feet nine of pure defined muscle.

Mandy found it impossible not to sigh when she saw him, even though she knew he would never give her a second look. That thought made her smile and remember that he was on the list of Mandy Summers Unattainable Things, that is, totally unreachable.

But that's okay. She didn't care to admire from afar, as if he were a knickknack in a crystal shop - look, but don't touch. She was a very down to earth girl. She was aware that she was not beautiful like the cheerleaders of alpha, beta and gamma, or whatever the sisterhood was called. She was never popular either, although she always wanted to know how that kind of girl felt when she was admired by everyone. She was just an ordinary girl, a good student who, despite doing ballet, was never part of the group of students who excelled in something in particular. So obviously, a beautiful guy like Ryan McKenna was someone unattainable to her. Dreaming about having anything close to a relationship with him was like imagining that she could be Zac Efron's girlfriend. That is, impossible. Ryan was the type of guy who dated girls like the ones in the cafГ©: beautiful, popular, charming, with generous curves on their bodies, who wore trendy clothes and lots of makeup. Not a skinny little girl like her, who wore faded jeans and a band T-shirt.

"Ah, but he abuses his right to be a handsome guy... - May sighed, taking her friend out of her daydreams.

"Um ... who?" - She asked, shaking her head, trying to focus on what her friend was saying.

"Cat-Ry " - May replied and smiled at her. - "That was the best welcoming committee and on the first day of school!"

"True." - Mandy smiled and, looking away from her friend, saw Sean waving in his direction. She returned the greeting and followed him, accompanied by May.

Sean and Mandy were very close. They met in kindergarten and grew up together. I used to trust Sean as if he were his older brother, until things started to get a little awkward during the last semester of high school. She shuddered just to remember the day when he cornered her in a corner, at the house of one of her schoolmates, where a party was taking place - one of the first that she went to, since she didn't usually socialize much. Holding her wrists more firmly than would be appropriate, Sean tried to kiss her, said that he liked her and that they should date. His impetuous - almost aggressive - behavior scared her. She had never thought of him that way and, in fact, she had not yet awakened to relationships with boys. She was a shy, inexperienced girl and didn't feel ready to be involved with anyone, not even the one she considered her best friend.

Sean's firm hands on her wrist, his hot, beer-smelling breath against hers, turned his stomach. Despite the boy's insistence on stealing a kiss, she managed to escape his grip and was very strict when she said she didn't want to date him. Afraid of losing his friendship - even though his behavior scared her a lot - Mandy explained that she didn't want to be involved with anyone. For a few days, he distanced himself from her, but shortly after, he seemed to accept her position. Mandy, on the one hand, was relieved to have managed to do damage control, but since then, she had lost some of the security she felt beside him - especially when she felt his eyes watching her with a mischevious expression.

"Hi girls! What's up, May, how's Betti doing?" - Sean asked for the cart, using the nickname May had given the old Subaru, in honor of Betty Boop, claiming that his car was vintage and cute.

"It's great! You and Yoshi were wonderful!" - she replied and hugged him. Sean smiled and turned to Mandy, looking a little shy.

"And you? How are you? All right?" - He asked and pulled her into a hug, which made her a little tense. Sean's touch felt friendly, causing a familiar sense of guilt to envelop her. Taking the worry out of her head, she smiled and struggled to feel happy to see her friend.

"Everything is great. What's your next class?" - Asked, trying to break the ice and maintain the atmosphere of friendship that they always had, until that day.

"Biology And you?"

"Literature. May?"

"History" - the friend replied, making a face of disgust. The history teacher, Miss. Mary Ellen, was reputed to be extremely demanding. They heard about it when they still were in their hometown. In the first two years, college students were taking basic subjects, such as literature, social sciences, history, art, among others. According to a freshman welcome manual, this was a way for students to gain general knowledge on a range of subjects, before focusing on a specific field of study. In general, from the third year onwards, they should choose the qualification they intended to complete their bachelor's degree. If the student opted for courses such as medicine, veterinary, dentistry or law, the duration would be a little longer than the other courses, because when completing the bachelor's degree, they would still need to take three more years of specific subjects of the profession they chose.

"Damn" - Sean and May spoke at the same time and laughed.

Mandy looked away, distracted from the conversation while watching the movement of people towards the big building, until May took her out of her thoughts, warning that the class was just around the corner. The three went to the entrance, looking for their respective classrooms, and said goodbye right there at the entrance, each heading towards their class.

Mandy took the bullet journal from the backpack and searched the class grid that was printed and pasted on one of the pages of the hardcover notebook for the number of the literature room. Disconnected from what was happening around her, she walked towards the room, her attention focused on her backpack while she kept the bullet journal. Before she had a chance to look up, the girl went against a wall and almost fell sitting, being prevented by two warm, firm hands that held her, but her backpack was not so lucky and fell to the floor. Looking up, Mandy felt her face heat up and turn red.

Oh, dammit. With the number of students at Brown, did I have to trip over Ryan McKenna right away?

"Ehr ... um ... So-Sorry” - she said, realizing she was stuttering like a fool. She was embarrassed. In addition to being completely clumsy, she was even stuttering as if she had no ability to articulate words.

"Are you alright? Forgive me, I was distracted" - Ryan spoke in a soft voice, looking into her eyes. Mandy had never been so close to him as in that moment - in fact, she had never been so close to any boy - and she could see every detail of his lovely blue eyes. His face was clean-shaven, making her feel a strange desire to raise her hand and feel if the skin of his face was as smooth as it looked. She stared at him for a few seconds, almost mesmerized. He was even more beautiful than she remembered.

Stop it, you silly! Where in the world one would behave like you, standing in the middle of the corridor, drooling over the hottest guy in college? She scolded herself in thoughts.

“Mm…” Ehr ... Yes, I am. Thank you and I'm sorry again.

Mandy managed to free herself from his arms, which still held her. The girl bent down quickly to pick up the backpack that was on the floor and, of course, was open, having spread her stuff down the hall. Annoyed by her clumsiness, she tried to put everything back in place as quickly as possible, including the bullet journal, which had fallen a little further, before he had a chance to bend down too. She closed the backpack and threw it over her shoulder, smiled awkwardly and moved on quickly, looking for her classroom.

As she walked quickly, she noticed that some people were looking at her and laughing at her accident. She felt her face heat up even more and scolded herself again for being so clumsy. It would be terrible to be remembered as the girl who fell in front of everyone.

When she finally found the classroom, Mandy went in and looked for a place in the back, so as not to risk being in evidence again. That was the kind of thing she tried to avoid as much as possible. The only moment when she was not allowed to feel shame or embarrassment for being highlighted, was when she was dancing. On stage, it was like it wasn't Mandy, the shy girl, but the character that she was giving life.

Panting, the girl sat in a strategic place: beside her, the chairs were empty, which was great because it would avoid that kind of embarrassment of having to discuss things with the closest colleague, when she had no idea what to say.

With a long sigh, she opened her backpack and took out a notebook when she noticed a shadow growing over it. Raising her eyes, once again, she came across Ryan McKenna.

"Hi, Cinderella. You forgot your satin shoe in the hall" - he said smiling, holding one foot of her ballet shoes in his hands.

Dammit.




Chapter Three


From the moment Ryan held Mandy in his arms as he bumped her in the hallway, so she wouldn't fall to the floor, he felt stunned. He had already noticed that beautiful girl in the halls of Gloucester High School when he was still in high school. He found the girl delicate, who wore her long dark hair always tied, very interesting to watch. Her beauty was exotic, with beautiful features and very green eyes. And the delicacy and softness of her features contrasted with the sporty style of the dark jeans, T-shirt and sneakers he wore.

In his opinion, she was a fox. He had always felt attracted to her, but have never tried anything. They were not part of the same group of friends and she never gave him a second look. Although they studied at the same school, Ryan was a year older and they always studied in different classes. Besides, she was very serious and he didn't think she was the type of girl who would accept going out with him. They had never spoken and only exchanged polite smiles occasionally. Seeing her at Brown, a year after he last saw her, was undoubtedly a great surprise.

The bump in the hall left him swaying. Maybe it was the fact that she fit perfectly in his arms or maybe it was because of the sweet, soft and floral scent of her perfume, which made him want to lean in a little closer, to better smell her. Or, who knows, maybe it was because of her intriguing and sensual appearance, very different from the shy girl who hid her attributes in high school. Amanda looked more grown up now. She was wearing her hair down - something he had never seen before - which framed her green eyes and made him want to touch the dark strands to find out if they were as soft as they looked.

But as fast as she fell against his body, she left, leaving him with the feeling of having been run over by the entire opposing team from the last game, such was the intensity of the feelings that aroused him.

He ran his hands through his hair, still feeling a little lost, until something red on the floor captured his attention: a ballet shoe. It should have fallen out of her backpack when he dropped her.

Determined, Ryan went down the hall, looking into the nearest rooms, trying to find her, but he was out of luck. It was as if the girl had evaporated. Frustrated, he was feeling the Prince Charming himself, left at the ball (in his case, in the college hallways), with the sneaker in hand and her owner having disappeared.

Unsuccessful with the search, he decided to go to literature class, before Miss. Leslie, the class teacher, went outside to get him. When she passed him at the entrance to the building, the teacher had wagged her finger and spoke in a loud and clear tone that she would wait for him in her class without delay. You can't stop yourself from making an awkward face when you remember the teacher's words. He hated it when they drew conclusions from his actions without really knowing him. That was the downside of being a popular guy. People generally judged his attitudes, without really knowing him. He knew that he fit the stereotype of the athlete, captain of the basketball team and relatively popular, but he was not a fool. He was a good student, who struggled in his studies to get good grades and was worried about the future.

Still thinking about the girl, Ryan came into the room and looked around assessing where he was going to sit. His eyes went to the back of the class and he smiled widely, hardly believing his luck. There she was: sitting on one of the chairs, looking for something in the backpack. Her dark hair fallen over her shoulders and, once again, he wanted to touch it and feel its thickness.

Stop it, he scolded himself.

Yes. She was beautiful. Yes. He was very attracted. But he could very well control his impulses and not act like an idiot.

Without looking away, Ryan followed her to return the ballerina flat - which was still in his hand - and, who knows, to know a little more about this girl who intrigued him so much. As he passed between the tables, he greeted one and another classmate. Until he approached and smelled the sweet, soft scent of her perfume enveloping him again. Looking surprised, she looked up at him and parted her lips.

"Hi, Cinderella. You forgot your satin shoe in the hall." - Ryan held out the hand that held the shoe with a flourish in her direction and smiled playfully. He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes, watching the girl's reaction closely.

Feeling her face burning, Mandy murmured:

"Um ..." - She cleared her throat. - "Thanks. I didn't realize I had dropped it." - If the blush on her cheeks were not a hint of her shyness, her low voice and the fact that she was barely able to look at him would clearly say how embarrassed she looked.

Willing to break the ice, Ryan opened his winning smile - that one girls usually couldn't resist, and sat down in the chair next to her.

"Do you remember me?" - He asked. - "I'm Ryan McKenna from Gloucester. We studied at the same school" - he added, striking up a conversation.

She let out a hum-hum, without paying much attention to him.

"I didn't know you danced ballet," he continued.

“Kinda.”

Her answer - or the lack of it - puzzled him. He was not used to being ignored. Usually, people paid all attention to a popular guy like him.

He parted his lips to say something when Miss. Leslie came into the room and looked around. When she saw him sat, she gave him a satisfied smile and nodded. Ryan smiled back and waved softly in silent greeting. The teacher have barely put the material on the table and was already talking excitedly about the lesson plan for the semester. Looking away from the front of the room, he looked to the side and saw Mandy ignoring him and writing down everything the teacher was saying. Still, he didn't give up on striking up a conversation with her.

"Have you been dancing for a long time?"

"Yup." - Damn, she's still monosyllabic. That’s no good.

"For how long?"

"Since the age of 5." - She turned to him, who saw a different sparkle in her eyes, quickly covered by a cloak of indifference. - "I'm sorry, but I'm trying to follow the class." - Her tone sounded annoyed.

Ryan looked away and took a notebook from his backpack.

"Sorry, Cinderella. I just wanted to get to know you better." His voice was low and a little harder than he expected, but he couldn't help feeling frustrated. What was wrong with her? Or worse, with him?

With big green eyes wide, Mandy opened her mouth to answer, but the teacher, who was talking about the semester's project, turned to them and said:

"Ryan, Amanda can be your partner on the project."

The teacher looked away from the two, continuing to randomly split the class into pairs and Ryan looked back at Mandy, who looked dissatisfied.

"What is it, Cindy? Didn't you like having to do the job with me?"

Her tone was scathing.

“No. I wanted to do it with someone who liked to study, not one who would leave the job behind me. And my name is Amanda, not Cindy."

Whoo! The fox has claws! And sharp ones, he thought to himself.

Unable to hide his smile, he leaned in and whispered very close to her ear. Adrenaline shot through his body and he felt challenged to prove to that girl that he was a hard worker.

"But who said I don't like to study?" - From where Ryan was, he could see the light hairs on her arm, which was resting on the table, stand up. - "You can be sure that this will be the best work of the class on ..." - Ryan looked quickly at the whiteboard to read the project theme. Jane Austen? Ah, damn it! - "Hmm... Jane Austen" - completed, feeling a little less secure. - "And I know your name, Amanda Summers. The girl's eyes widened slightly when she heard her last name. - "Cindy is my nickname for Cinderella, since I think you won't be happy if someone hears me call you that."

"I don't like silly nicknames," she replied so quietly, that if he hadn't been so close, he wouldn't have heard. Then she lowered her head again, concentrating on the notebook in front of her. - "All I want is to get a good grade, without having to kill myself to do the project alone."

"Be cool. I will not let you do anything alone. We will do it together, like two good partners." - He smiled. - "And the nickname is not silly. I am not to blame if you are my Cinderella."

"And what are you? Prince Charming?" - Mandy couldn't keep the ironic tone. "You think you are, don't you, Ryan McKenna?" - she couldn't stop her voice from being full of poison.

He looked at her, surprised by the hostility.

"What do you mean by that?"

"That you must be full of yourself just because you are the captain of the basketball team and the girls fly around you like bakery flies. But you don't have to pretend to be interested in me, as I don't fall for your conquering heartthrob chat."

Ryan raised his eyebrow and opened and closed his mouth a few times. She managed to leave him speechless. He knew that most people treated him with privileges because he was the playmaker and captain of the team, and the girls really flirted with him, but he had never seen himself in such a distorted perspective. As if he was a bad guy for being popular.

He was about to reply that she was wrong when Miss. Leslie called out their names again.

"Ryan? Amanda? Your book is Pride and Prejudice " - the teacher spoke and continued to indicate the book for each pair. - "You should make a project, showing the cultural differences of the time when the book takes place in comparison with the present, the difference in love relationships, always comparing past and present, without forgetting the theoretical basis through the authors who are part of the readings referenced for our discipline. I will make the prerogatives of work available on our class forum on the internet."

Pride and Prejudice It couldn't be a better book. Ryan would make the Cinderella pleaded swallow the prejudice against him by the end of the semester. Now, taming that aloof girl was a matter of honor.

At the end of class, Ryan stood up and rested his backpack on his shoulder, smiling at Miss. Grumpy.

"Bye, Cindy. See you. But, I already want to set up our meeting at the campus library, to start our work. I'll see you on Saturday at nine in the morning."

He bowed to her as a period nobleman would have done to a lady - perhaps even Mr. Darcy to Elizabeth - blinked and headed for the exit. I was sure that if I looked back, she would be open-mouthed, surprised.




Chapter Four


Upon seeing Ryan leave the room, Amanda exhaled audibly. The impact of the strange conversation hit her and she felt her body shudder. The memory of her rude words made her face flush and warm. Oh, my God. How could I be so impolite?, she scolded herself. She leaned forward, running her hands over her face. If she were sincere, she would admit what had happened. The shitty insecurity, associated with shyness, spoke louder and she reacted in the worst way possible.

Dammit.

The girl sighed and started to put the material in her backpack. The room was starting to fill up for the next class. As she finished packing her things, Mandy thought about how much he surprised her by appearing beside her and striking up a conversation.

She closed the backpack carefully so as not to be embarrassed again. She rested the strap on her shoulder and headed for the exit. In a few seconds, she quickly crossed the hall to chemistry class. She barely crossed the living room door when she saw May waving at her.

"Mandy! Here! I saved your place!"

She went to her friend, still shaken. She couldn't stop thinking about the strange morning. Had Ryan McKenna really stroke up a conversation or was she dreaming? And had she really reacted so badly to his presence?

"Mandy? Friend?" May shook her shoulder and Mandy looked at her with a start. - ""Honey, what happened?

“Huh. Nothing” - she replied quickly, looking away.

She couldn't tell anyone that, not even May. She felt embarrassed by her behavior and, at the same time, a little ridiculed by Ryan's joke, when he called her Cinderella. Because that could only be a joke. A guy like him would never look at her any other way. But, in a sneaky way, the other side of her, that romantic and dreamer murmured: “What if he really liked you? What if he's interested in something else? She took a deep breath, not knowing what to think, as her pessimistic side protested vehemently: "How bold of you to think that Ryan McKenna, the basketball star, the Brown's most handsome guy, the one who could have any girl he wanted to, would be intrested in something else. No, no, and no! He's on Mandy Summers' list of Unattainable Things and that's where he should stay. ”

"Mandy, what happened? Are you upset with someone? Are you sick? Talk to me, friend!" - May's expression was concerned. Mandy tried to open a smile to reassure her, determined not to comment anything. She was a very closed girl with her own feelings and hated to worry about others.

"No, May. I'm fine. I just have a little headache."

"Oh, damm it! I hate it when that happens. I'll leave you alone to see if it gets better. Do you want a painkiller?"

"No, thanks. Soon I will feel better" - she replied, feeling even worse for lying to her best friend.

The teacher came into the room and started the lesson, but Mandy was completely unaware of what was happening, going over the morning's events, as if it were a movie in which Ryan and she were the main characters. She recalled the moment when he held her so she wouldn't fall. His arms wrapped around her so tightly that she didn't want to get out of his heat. Closing her eyes, she remembered his smile and his bright eyes when he stroke up a conversation during class, seeming interested in knowing more about her. Guilt hit her at the thought of her rudeness when he was just nice.

Sympathetic and seductive, that romantic voice murmured and Mandy remembered the moment when he leaned against her, bringing his lips close to her ear, raising the hairs on her body while whispering in her ear. It would be enough to turn her head a little and their lips would meet and she could taste his taste.

Where’d that come from? Gosh! I haven't even kissed anyone, how can I be thinking that kind of thing?

A shake on her shoulder drove her out of her thoughts.

"Mandy, come on. The class is over, let's have lunch."

She looked at May, confused, wondering how an hour of class could have gone by without her noticing. If someone asked her anything the teacher had said during the class, she wouldn't know how to answer it, because she spent the whole time thinking about Ryan, his easy talk and his beautiful blue eyes.

Shaking her head, she tried to shake the memory of the boy, put her backpack on her shoulder and followed May out of the classroom towards the university cafeteria.

She walked beside her friend, who kept talking about the torture that had been her history class. As she turned in the corridor, a strange sensation enveloped her, as if she were being watched. She lifted her head, looked around and found the same pair of blue eyes that had destabilized her all morning. Their eyes met, he blinked and she felt her face heat up.

"Mandy? Earth calling!"

The young woman broke eye contact with Ryan and looked back at May, who was watching her curiously.

"Are you alright? You look a little flushed" - the friend said and Mandy looked away to the floor.

"Um ... I am," he replied under May's scrutiny. But she gave up on lunch. It was better to go to her safe place to put her head in place. - "Friend, have lunch with the boys." "I'm going to the library. I'm not hungry and my head is hurting a lot."

"Do you want me to go with you?" - May asked, stopping in the middle of the hall. She felt guilty again for lying again, but she needed to be alone and try to understand what was going on.

"No, no need. It's quiet there and that's exactly what I need now."

May seemed a little reticent about allowing her to go there alone.

"Are you sure?"

The young woman shook her head, trying to smile slightly.

"Okay, see you later, then."

Mandy quickly moved away from May and went to the opposite side of the building, where the large library was located. She entered the old hall and waved to Polly, the librarian she had met on the first day she went there. The woman smiled back, put Mandy's things in a small reception cupboard and went to the back, where the classics were. Polly had told her that hardly anyone showed up in that section of the library during the break. Actually, rarely did anyone go there. Maybe that's why it has become her favorite place.

She walked slowly down the hall as she passed the shelves full of books. She went to the bottom, sliding her fingertips over the thick, old spines of the books she loved so much. Halfway there, she stopped in front of Jane Austen's books and took Pride and Prejudice off the shelf, hugging the old, hardcover copy to her chest.

She sat on the floor, leaning against the wall, with the book in her hand. Her fingers felt around the cover, outlining the gold letters. She opened the book on some page and brought it close to her face, smelling the words printed on the yellowed paper.

"I thought that poetry was the food of love"

She read the sentence spoken by Mr. Darcy and closed the book, resting her head on her knees, which were bent close to her body. With her eyes closed, her thoughts returned to the exact moment of the bump. It had never happened to her. Never, never really, she has been so rocked by anyone, so unstructured as she was. She needed to get him out of her head.

She was silent, with her eyes closed for a while. Then, a light touch of her hair made it fall over her shoulders. Lifting her head quickly, surprised, she found Ryan himself kneeling right in front of her. He looked at her intently, his blue eyes looking darker, almost the color of night.

"Are you OK?" - He asked as he put a lock of hair behind her ear.

Mandy was unable to speak. The words failed her and she just nodded, despite not being well. The tension in the air was almost tactile and she couldn't understand why he was so close to her, almost invading her personal space.

"Ah, Cinderella," he murmured, without taking his eyes off hers, moving closer. - "I can't get you out of my head."

Ryan leaned in. His eyes strayed from hers and wandered toward her mouth. Mandy's lips parted and she ran the tip of her tongue over them, trying to moisten them. He smiled slightly, getting closer and closer. They were millimeters apart. She could almost feel the brush of his lips against hers.

Tired of resisting and trying to rationalize what she was feeling, she closed her eyes and lifted her lips instinctively. She felt the hot breath very close to her face and when Ryan's mouth finally touched hers, she was startled: several books fell from the top of the bookcase over her head.

Mandy opened her eyes in alarm and realized that there was no one in that hidden corridor. She should have dozed off and dreamed of him and, somehow, pushed the bookcase causing all those books to fall.

I shouldn't have lied to May, she thought, rubbing the top of her head. That was her punishment for lying and wanting something she knew she could never have.

Well done, Amanda Summers. Now, her headache was real and she still had an extra job, which was putting everything back in place.



***



As Mandy headed for the library, May stood in the cafeteria, watching her friend walk away and feeling her chest tight with worry. They were like sisters and, despite the difference in age between the two being a few months old, the friend always awakened May's protective instinct, who knew she was a melancholy girl and that she had a great sadness inside her. As much as she said she didn't care about her father's departure, she knew that it contributed a lot to her insecurity. She was a beautiful, sweet and very intelligent girl. She was talented, her dedication and performance in ballet was admirable, but Mandy couldn't see herself that way. And that was why May did her best to get her up and worried when she looked like this: strange and more introspective than usual.

When Mandy disappeared from view, May turned and headed for the cafeteria. As she passed through the double doors, she saw a huge hall. She had not yet entered there. On the right side, the dishes were arranged in stacks, right next to the counter where a lady was replacing the food. Ahead, a large refrigerator with a glass door held soda, juice and water.

She went there and started to put food on her plate. When she reached the end of the counter, she grabbed a Coca-Cola, passed the cashier and paid for lunch. Then she turned and looked around. The room full of tables was packed. Deep in the back of the room, she saw Yoshi swing his arm to get her attention. She smiled to let him know she had seen him and started walking with the tray in her hands. She passed between the tables and noticed that, as in high school, the places were separated by groups. There was the table of the nerds, the rockers, the athletes and the table of the ordinary people - like her. Finally, she reached the table and smiled at her friends, who were in a lively conversation about cars. Sean reached out, took the tray from her hand and placed it on the table, while Yoshi pulled the chair beside her so that May could sit. She thought their care for her was cute.

The girl barely greeted them and thanked them for their kindness when Sean interrupted her.

"Where's Mandy? Didn't she come with you?"

"She went to the library," she replied. - "She has a headache."

He made an expression of displeasure, but she ignored it. She liked him, they had been part of the same group of friends since they were kids, but Sean had a fixation on Mandy that went over a little of what she considered reasonable. She knew that her friend had no romantic interest in him and that the two had already talked about it. But although he said that he understood and that he would like them to remain friends, May found the feeling of possession he displayed to be quite strange.

"So, May, how was the history class?" - Yoshi asked and the conversation about the terrible class distracted her.

A few moments later, a buzz began to form at the table to her left, where the basketball team and the cheerleaders stood, in their short white and blue uniforms. Although they were not part of that group, they were sitting very close to them.

"Ryyyyy-aaannnn!" - Ashley Walters's thin voice rang in her ears.

Ashley was the captain of the basketball team's cheerleaders. She was beautiful, had a perfect body, shiny blond hair and incredibly blue eyes. She was the perfect stereotype of the college cheerleader. But, as sick as her voice, Ashley was not what could be considered good company. May had had the displeasure of attending the first class of the day with her - which had been terrible - but largely because of the girl. Boring, rude and prejudiced, Ashley only treated well who was part of her group and the strangest thing is that most of the people she got along with, did not see it. She was very popular and admired by most of the students: the boys were crazy to go out with her and the girls wanted to be like her.

" Ryann-annn ," - she called again, as if she were singing his name. May didn't know how anyone there at that table could tolerate Ashley. May had only known her for five minutes and already hated her.

"What is it, Ash?" - Ryan asked, looking impatient.

"Are you doing charity now, giving attention to the needy?"

He raised his eyebrow, looking quite surprised by the question.

"What are you talking about?" - He asked, his blue eyes showing confusion.

Her face showed a smug expression. She raised an eyebrow and said:

"I saw you in the hall, making out with a little chick, earlier."

He frowned, while the other girls who were next to her smiled mischievously when they heard the mean nickname.

May looked at Sean and Yoshi, who looked as surprised as she did. The girl looked back at the table and her eyes strayed from Ryan to Ashley, as if she were watching an exciting tennis match. She looked back at Ryan, who looked a little uncomfortable. Who was he clinging to? He was always harassed at school, so May had no doubt that at university he should be much more.

"What is it, Ashley?" - The expression on Ryan's face was quite boring. - "I don't give you the freedom to talk to me like that!"

"I'm not saying anything too much, Ry. Everyone saw that you went after that skinny girl in literature class after the meeting in the hall." - Ash made an innocent expression and continued. - "You used to have a better taste for girls, dear."

She pouted and laughed, accompanied by friends who looked more like imitation monkeys.

"I don't understand your comment, Ashley. You have no right to talk to me like that,” - he replied. - "In addition, you need to learn to respect people in order to be respected. Mandy has a name, she's an amazing girl and doesn't deserve to be treated that way by anyone. And nothing much happened. I bumped into her in the hall and went to apologize in class. That’s it."

Mandy? Did he say Mandy? Was Ryan referring to my Mandy ?, May wondered and looked at Sean and Yoshi, who were staring at each other with their mouths open, just like her.

"May, is he talking about Mandy?" - Yoshi asked quietly.

"I think so," - she replied. Something happened and Mandy didn't tell me!, May thought to herself, but was awakened from her rambling by Ashley's irritating voice.

" I have every right to say what I want, Ryan! Besides, you know you should be with me, don't you? I am the cheerleader of the basketball team!" - She leaned against him, running a hand on his arm. Ryan took her hand and pushed it away. He laughed, but it didn't look like fun.

"Ash, don't make me laugh. I. Have. Already. Said. I. Don't. Want. Anything. With. You - he punctuated each word, pointing a finger at her. - "Don't be ridiculous. Your insistence on these ridiculous clichГ©s is pathetic."

At this point, the entire cafeteria fell silent and everyone was looking at them. The silence was so deep that May could almost hear the sound of Ryan's breathing, which was accelerating. Ashley's mouth fell open at the boy's outburst, who stood up, almost knocking over the chair on the floor, and left the cafeteria, throwing the backpack on his back. Nobody dared to say a word during that moment.

May looked away at Ashley who looked angry. She hoped she wouldn't do anything stupid.

"Guys, I'm going after Mandy. I need to find out what's going on" - the girl spoke softly, when the cafeteria came to life. She stood up and Sean did the same.

"I'm going with you, May" - Sean offered, but the girl refused. If something had happened, Sean's presence would be more of a hindrance than a help.

"No, Sean. I'll go. We don't even know what's going on."

"But, May..." he tried again, but she didn't budge.

"She won't tell me anything if you're together, Sean. She's my best friend. Let me talk to her” - she said, needing to be tough on him.

Sean agreed, having no other option. When May started picking up her things to get up, the trio of cheerleaders - Ashley, Hannah and Cheryl - passed by their table and she felt herself shiver. She hoped they wouldn't start picking on Mandy. She knew that type of girl very well. Spoiled preppies who thought the world revolved around their navel. The last thing they needed was to get in trouble with that kind of person.

She waited for the three of them to leave the cafeteria. She put the backpack on her shoulder and went to the library after Mandy.



***



As she passed the reception, Polly smiled at May. The librarian already knew the little redhead, who always showed up looking for her friend.

"Is she here?" - May asked quietly.

"Yes, in the back, with Miss Austen and Sir Shakespeare " - she replied, laughing.

The young woman thanked her and went on to the classics of world literature class. It was no surprise that she was in that area of the library, since Pride and Prejudice was her favorite book. May went through a multitude of bookcases, until a noise caught her eye and she ran towards the sound. Finally, she found Mandy, who was sitting on the floor, with her hair messed up and several books lying around her.

"Mandy?" - She raised her head and looked scared to her friend. Her eyes were full of tears. - "Sweetie, what happened?"

"Ah, May..." - she murmured and the tears she was holding began to fall.

May knelt beside her and pulled her into a hug, feeling helpless.

"Calm down sweetie. It's okay ... don't cry" - she murmured, trying to calm her down. - "Wanna tell me what's going on?"

"I can't explain for sure why I'm like this." - she replied, trying to wipe away the tears.

"Talk to me, friend. You know you can trust me."

Mandy then started talking and told everything: the bump in Ryan in the hall, the partnership in the literature project, the disturbing dream.

"I know it sounds silly, May, but I was very nervous," - she said, wiping away her tears. - "You know I have no experience with boys. And Ryan ... well, I have to be honest ... he shakes me a lot. I never found myself in a situation like this and I didn't know how to act. Worse is that I was rude to him and we still have to do the project together."

Mandy felt even more embarassed. Verbalizing her immature behavior made her feel even worse.

"There's nothing silly, Mandy. I understand. It's very normal for us to feel a little ... overwhelmed, when we don't have experience. Unsafe. Even more next to a boy like him" - May spoke and smiled slightly, trying to calm her down. - "I think I would also be nervous if I had someone like Ryan as a project partner."

May paused briefly and then asked quietly:

"Do you think he's into you?

Mandy opened and closed her mouth a few times, as if she couldn't get the words out. She shook her head, denying.

"No, I think it's his way. You should treat all girls like that." - She raised her arms and gestured. - "He's Ryan McKenna, for God's sake!" - Mandy vented and the two started laughing. Suddenly, May remembered why she went looking for her: the mess in the cafeteria.

"Um ... friend, there was some fuzz in the cafeteria."

"Mess ?"

"Yep. Do you know who Ashley is?" - May asked and Mandy shook his head. - "Do you know a blonde who was at the cafe earlier today with the cheerleaders? She was the only one with her hair up, blue eyes ..."

"Um, I think so" - Mandy said, frowning. - "You know I'm not very attached to these things."

"Yeah, but she saw your incident in the hall." - Mandy's eyes widened slightly. - "And kept asking Ryan about it."

"Oh..."

The girl reported the details of the argument between the two and Mandy listened to everything with her hand over her mouth, scared.

"And now, May? If these girls catch me, I'm screwed!"

"I think the best thing for now is to mind your own business. Have your classes, do it fine. When do you have literature class again?"

"Only next Monday."

"Let's hope this is the only class you will attend with him. Closer to Saturday, we rethink what happened and decide what to do."

"Oh, my God ... I'm going to die of embarassment!" - Mandy hid her face in her hands and burst out laughing at her dramatic demeanor.

" I know, Mandy, but in the end, everything will be fine. I'm sure it will be."

The girls hugged each other again. May tried to be calm, despite being as nervous as her friend. She really hoped everything went well.

"Shall we fix this mess before Polly comes over here and tells us off?" - The redhead asked and Mandy nodded, bending down to pick up some books and began to tidy up the shelves.




Chapter Five


Ryan left the cafeteria angrily and went straight to the gym. The boy needed to do something to vent the anger he was feeling. Not that he was a violent or tough guy, but Ashley had the power to piss him off and take him seriously. But that was nothing new. Since the previous year, when they were still freshmen, her obstinacy in saying that they should be a couple, since he was not attracted to her, had crossed the line. Her insistence - which bordered on obsession - had left him in a position where just hearing her voice would made him angry. If the bullshit she used to say was also considered, the result was not good.

He went into the men's locker room and put his things in the closet with his name, after taking out shorts, T-shirt and sneakers. A run would do him good. The release of endorphins by physical activity would make him cool his head and be calmer. After getting dressed, he went to the court. He was stretching when Dean, his best friend and teammate, showed up.

"Hey, guy! How are you?"

Without stopping to stretch, Ryan stared at the blue eyes of the boy who was as tall and strong as he was, and answered with a grunt.

"Annoyed" - he muttered, continuing to stretch, accompanied by his friend. They were silent for a few moments, until Dean spoke again.

"What happened in the cafeteria, Ry?" - The boy asked, puzzled. - "Each day, you are more impatient with Ash. And this is not the kind of thing that usually happens to you, quite the opposite. You are the most patient guy I know."

Dean was right. The friend was very calm and always encouraged his teammates to have a kinder and friendlier behaviour. He believed that violence led to nothing and that their differences - with anyone - should be solved with dialogue.

But it didn't seem to apply to Ashley.

"Ashley pisses me off, Dean. I can't stand this girl."

"I know, she gets tough sometimes. But did you need to get to that point? And the other girl? Are you going out with her anyway?"

Just hearing about Mandy, the image of the girl with very dark hair and sweet perfume came to his mind. It was strange how a bump made him so impressed ... maybe it was the fact that they attended the same school in high school. Who knows, some kind of recognition ... of familiarity with someone from his hometown. Or, maybe it was Mandy, her delicate and skittish way, that made him want to know everything about her.

"No, man, I'm not. I almost dropped her in the hall, I had to hold her so she wouldn't fall to the floor. Then, when I went to class, I found out that we were in the same class and the teacher assigned us as a pair for the semester project. That's all that happened” - he explained.

The two finished stretching and started running. Their movements seemed rehearsed, foot to foot hitting the ground in a rhythmic way, the result of a lot of training together and a partnership that surpassed the games.

"So, why all that, Ry? If she's a girl you barely know, why fight Ash over her?"

"I do not accept Ashley's arrogant behavior. She has no right to question who I have a relationship with - lovingly or not. And I'm tired of seeing her mistreating people, of making fun of other students. At that time, in the cafeteria, she was making fun of a girl who did nothing to her, just because Mandy is not part of her group of friends. I am against this kind of injustice. I'm even thinking of talking to the cheerleader team coach. As an important member of the team, she needs to be a positive role model for people, and that's not what happens, you know."

Dean looked at him, surprised. As team captain, Ryan has always condemned any aggressive attitude - in any case - on the team. He always had an active voice with the team, stimulated egalitarian attitudes among the players and promoted activities to support the community. But he had never been involved in any controversy with the cheerleaders. The team coach was extremely rigid, she required hard work on choreography and exemplary behavior, and such a complaint could cause Ashley many problems - perhaps even expulsion from the team.

"But who is this girl, Mandy? I don't think I know her” - Dean asked, as they completed the course and started the second lap on the field. Their pace was quite fast.

"Freshman" - Ryan explained.

Dean rolled his eyes and laughed.

"Yeah... Ashley is terrible with freshmen...."

"As if she's never been one" - Ryan pointed out and Dean laughed. They continued to run. Sweat was beginning to wet his hair, but his breathing was controlled. - "She passed us at the entrance. Short, very dark hair with bangs and green eyes." - Dean watched him as Ryan described the girl and was surprised to see a small smile appear on his friend's lips. Yes, Ryan, like Dean, was a popular guy, dated a few girls and there was always someone interested in being his date at campus parties, but the two boys had shown no interest in anyone in particular. They hadn't fallen in love, that was the truth. - "We did high school at the same school."

"Um..." - Dean murmured as they continued to run. They were on the third lap around the field. - "Is it a freshman who arrived with a red-haired fox, in a red car?"

"Ahem" - Ryan nodded, his breath starting to accelerate.

"Dude, she's a fox!" - Dean spoke and Ryan nodded, looking at his friend and trying to find out if his friend was interested in her. - "But she's serious, isn't she? She and her friend took a class with me before lunch"

"I think so" - Ryan replied, uncomfortable. Was the friend interested in her? Suddenly, he felt a knot in his stomach and his heart racing.

I think the strong sun is doing me harm. It can only be that, he thought to himself.

The boys ran a little more in silence. When they completed the sixth lap, Dean slowed down, being accompanied by Ryan.

"I'm going to stop" - Dean said, and Ryan nodded. - "I have class in twenty minutes."

Ryan agreed and the two went to the locker room, still in silence. On the way, he went over the conversation, feeling that discomfort again.



***



The summer days in Providence passed slowly. Ryan saw Mandy a few times in the halls, always quiet, with her redheaded friend. He realized that she was very different from most Brown girls, who used to wear short, low-cut clothes and flirt with guys in and out of classrooms. Her clothes were always well behaved and her shyness barely allowed her to talk to a stranger.

The first time they met in the corridor, after literature class, their eyes met and she seemed to be the color of her friend's hair. Ryan smiled and she dropped her eyes and quickened her pace. On another occasion, he was running around the football field with the guys on the team. Looking at the bleachers, he saw that she was sitting, writing something in what appeared to be a notebook. He couldn't take his eyes off her. As he ran, he saw Mandy looking away, as if thinking about something. She brought the pencil to her lips, biting the tip. A few seconds later, she wrote again. He was already on the ninth lap when she realized he was there. Their eyes met. He smiled and blinked as he passed. Mandy looked back over her shoulder, as if confirming that he was really blinking and smiling to her.

By just remembering the reaction, a silly smile appeared on his face. He thought she was so cute that he couldn't help but be more and more interested in her.

And so, the week went by. Ryan stole glances from Mandy on campus lawns, winked as he passed her in the halls and smiled every time he met her unexpectedly on the way.

At night, before going to sleep, her eyes popped into his mind and he wondered what was so special that made him daydream, wanting to touch her soft hair, steal kisses from her full lips and feel her body against his. At times, the memory of their first meeting made him remember the way she treated him, wondering why he was wasting time, wanting a girl who was obviously not interested in him. But it was enough to remember the feeling of having her in his arms, to make caution flow out the window, making him anxious for more.

Every Friday, Ryan, like many Brown students, volunteered. Teachers used to recruit students to provide social service in the activities in which they stood out or had an affinity, as a way of helping the community. He was a coach on the children's basketball team and had worked with boys aged 7 to 10 years for almost a year. In the beginning, it had been a challenge for the coach, who said that as the team captain, he needed to develop essential leadership skills, team coordination and set an example. And, nothing better than teaching a kids full of energy to learn this. But the class was so much fun that, for Ryan, it was no longer an obligation and became a great pleasure.

Providence was a city full of parks. One of the most famous, ProspectPark, was close to the university. The place, where the statue of the city's founder, theologian Roger Williams, was located, had a privileged view of the city. People of all ages exercised in the region, practicing basketball, running, cycling, among other sports, for being an open place and full of fresh air, with its big trees. Many physical education teachers from public schools in the region took their students to train in the park, as a way to encourage them to practice sports and encourage healthy living.

Since moving from Gloucester to Providence, Ryan has lived on the outskirts of Brown. The park was just a few minutes from his apartment and he usually took that way on foot. On the way to the court, he passed by some acquaintances who waved to him, greeting him. The day is beautiful, Ryan thought to himself as he walked. The sun was shining brightly and the sky was blue, without a cloud to hinder the beautiful view. When he arrived on the court, he saw that the sixteen boys who trained with him were already stretching and preparing to play. When they saw Ryan, they greeted him and split into two teams. When everyone was ready, the boy whistled to signal the start of the game and threw the ball into the air.

The children competed for the ball, excited, while he was shouting directions to each player.

"Fred, look at the spin!" - he warned one of the students. - "Run, Larry, run!"

A few minutes after the start of the game, Ryan heard a song in the distance. It was Tchaikovsky's Waltz of Flowers, he identified. His mother loved the Nutcracker ballet and had heard this song several times in their home. He turned to see where the sound was coming from and was surprised by the sight.

Fourteen girls stood in a line, in a semicircle, on their toes. In the rhythm of the music, they revolved around themselves and little by little the circle opened up. Then, Mandy came along. The boy's eyes traveled slowly over her body, admiring her perfect shape covered by a light pink leotard, which kept her firm arms out. A small black skirt, tied to the right side, wrapped around her body. Her shapely legs were covered in a pantyhose in the same shade of pink as the leotard, and she wore a pair of red flats, whose satin straps wrapped around her ankle. Her dark hair was tied up in a bun and she looked completely different from her basic day-to-day style.

Ryan continued to watch her movements with his jaw dropped. She moved her arms and legs, tiptoeing. The smaller girls split into two rows, all on tiptoes, spinning through the open space, while Mandy jumped in the center of them, making precise movements. The two rows of girls moved away from Mandy, who remained in the center, focused on her movements. He had no idea that she was so good, and his heart was racing and his breath was wheezing as he watched her dance.

Her movements continued. The two rows of girls circled her again and she leaned forward, disappearing into that sea of little pink tutus. Ryan couldn't look away. The girls finished the circle and Mandy appeared again, doing pirouettes. She turned toward Ryan and finally realized that he was there, looking at her. Her face turned red and she looked away quickly.

Suddenly, the boy heard screams from the boys, which diverted his attention from the dance and, when he turned around, saw a ball flying full force towards him. There was no time to deviate. The ball hit his head, knocking him to the ground.

Ouch. Damn.

The pain was so great that he felt like he was seeing stars.

The boys huddled around him, asking numerous questions, wanting to know if he was okay. He blinked a few times, focused his eyes and sat down, rubbing his head where the ball hit him. Unable to contain himself, he looked again in the direction in which Mandy was dancing. She was standing, as were the little girls, all looking in his direction, frightened. He smiled at her, trying to show that he was fine and saw the relief in her eyes. But, unintentionally, he hit the lump that was forming on his head with his hand, which caused a grimace of pain. When he looked at her again, she was laughing as she tried to hide her good humor from her confusion.

"Are you OK?" - She asked, making the move with her lips, so that he could understand what she was saying from afar.

"Yes" - he replied, smiled back and stood up. Apart from the monstrous headache he was feeling and the hurt pride, yes, he was fine.

"Boys, rest assured" - he said, addressing the class. - "I am fine."

"I'm sorry, Ry. I miscalculated the direction and strength of the ball" - one of the boys said, looking ashamed and guilty.

"Don't worry, Leo, these things happen." - The little boy smiled at him, who reciprocated despite the pain he was feeling. - "Shall we continue, guys?"

The boys ran back to the court, followed by Ryan, who took a seat on a bench near the field. A few moments later, he looked again in the direction in which Mandy was dancing, but there was no one else there.

He sighed, thinking he would meet her the next day at the library. He just hoped that by then the headache would have eased.




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